Always In The Middle
by AphroditeMalfoy
Summary: Everyone talks about Greasers and Socs. What about the ones that aren't really Greasers and aren't really Socs? The ones that don't belong? Belle, someone in the middle, tells her story. About how she with a little help from Sodapop Curtis, changed everyt
1. Chapter One

I never fit in anywhere. At least, I didn't then. It was all different then. Before fitting in, before friends. Before love. At 13 years old you would probably say, " She's a kid, she doesn't know anything." You'd be wrong. I found out more in my 13 years than you probably will in 35. Living not on the wrong side of the tracks but not the right side either will do that to you. It'll teach you have you don't really fit in. Sure, Greasers live, 'on the wrong side' and Socs live 'on the right side'. Greasers get all the trouble and Socs get all the breaks. What about the ones in the middle? The ones who aren't rich or poor? The ones that don't really belong anywhere. The ones that are always the loners. Greasers have gangs and they really stick together. They have to if they're gonna survive. Socs have their 'clubs' and their 'groups' and they basically keep together. They have rumbles and fights against each other. They have something specific to hate. What about us? We're not Greasers and we're not Socs. We're not anything. We're ignored. To get noticed, you have to be one or the other and so far there's never been an honorary Greaser or honorary Soc. At least, not back then. To explain everything that happened; how all us 'Middlers' changed over a simple two months, I have to start at the beginning.  
I moved out of the movie theater, still breathing in what I had just seen. I was thinking, "Paul Newman sure is tuff." Tuff was a term I had picked up from the Greasers. I was wearing an ankle length skirt and a brand new T-shirt. One of the signs I was a Middler. Soc skirt and greaser skirt. Although not all Middlers were so obvious I seemed to relish in the fact that everyone knew I didn't belong. Occasionally I'd 'go Grease' or 'go Soc'. I seemed to get away with it. Movies and books were my only escape from a world of one or another. There was only one other person I knew who went to the movie theater and the drive-in as much as I did. Ponyboy Curtis. He relished in the movies as much as I did. You could tell by the look in his eyes after the movie that he had become the characters as I did. I suppose he went for the same reason I did. To get away from one or the other, to go to a place with just regular people. I used to like watching him. He seemed so....... different. I like different. I saw the Soc's car pull up. Or rather, I saw it start to follow him. I tried to call out to him, to warn him. " Ponyboy, watch out for those Socs." But he didn't hear me. He was still lost in his own world. I couldn't do anything but watch as he turned the corner and disappeared. "Hey Belle! Yo, over here girl!" I turned around and saw Lemon coming towards me. I had known Lemon, nicknamed 'Lem', since I can remember. While us Middlers never really had 'best friends or groups' , we were all kinda of close. Me and Lem had been the closest thing best friends you could get, neither of us, like the rest, knowing where we belonged. " Hey Lem.", I said as she reached me. We started walking, going nowhere in particular. "What are you doing in that movie house again?", she asked teasing. " Oh, you know. Getting lost." I smiled at her, "You know I can't pass up a good excuse to get away." " Yeah, I know.", she said, punching my arm lightly. Like me, she wore half and half, except in reverse. Socy shirt and Greaser capris. No one really bugged us. Socs were all preoccupied with greasers and Greasers were all preoccupied with Socs. We kept walking. " Lem, let's go down to the DX Station. My baby's in the shop again." I said  
" Which baby?" said Lem teasingly. She knows that I absolutely love Sodapop Curtis, Pony's brother. I tsked. " You know what I'm talking about. My car gave out again. The DX is the only decent place around. Besides, me n' Soda are just friends. I'd never stand a chance with all the girls after him. C'mon, you can se Steve." Steve is Soda's best friend. Has been since they were in kindergarten. Lem has a huge crush on him. Strangely enough, she always left Soda alone and went for Steve.  
" Well, all right but only because I know how much you like...cars." she said laughing.   
I have a thing with cars and guys, so I work the register part time. Whenever my "baby", a midnight blue Mustang my dad got me for my birthday, broke down, it went to the DX. Steve and Soda have a way with cars. Me and Lem have a thing for them. We walked to the DX Station. There were about ten girls there as usual. They all come to flirt with Sodapop. We fought our way through the crowd and into the garage. " Hey, Soda! How's my baby doing?"  
" Hey Belle! Just got finished with her. Not too bad this time. You go any faster though, she ain't gonna run anymore!", he laughed and smiled at me.  
" You know I can't resist the wind in my hair." I pulled my hair out of my pony tail and shook it around my face. I laughed. I hadn't stopped smiling since Soda had turned around. He has that effect on people. Especially me. " And what about you, Mr. Drag-Racer?" I asked teasingly.  
" All right, all right. You win.", he laughed. " You dig OK Belle."  
I went over to my Mustang, literally nicknamed Baby. Lem had somehow snuck her way over to Steve. Soda followed me. " Your hair gets lighter and curlier every day.", he said, messing with the top of it.  
" Thanks.", I blushed a little and left it messy. I looked under the hood. " I really burned her this time huh?"  
" Yeah you did. Nothing I couldn't handle though.", he puffed out his chest and looked thoroughly pleased with himself. Then he let all the air out and we laughed again. You laugh a lot around Sodapop Curtis. " How's the fan club? " I said sarcastically, leaning on the side of my Mustang.   
" Oh, you know. Annoying.", he said blushing. He punched my arm. " You working tonight?, he asked.   
" Yeah, I think I will. I gotta get Lem outta here first though," I said, jerking my head in her direction. " Or she won't ever leave." Lem was flirting nonstop with Steve. Actually, they were flirting with each other. I told you she had a thing for Steve.  
" Yeah, OK." He smiled. I went over to Lem.  
" C'mon, we gotta go. Baby's fixed." We looked at each other sideways and cracked grins. " All right, see you later Steve."  
" See ya."  
We got in the car and backed out. We waved to the guys and turned the car around. " Bye boys!" we yelled.   
" See ya later girls!" they yelled back, all of us ignoring the gathering crowd of girls at the sight of Soda. I put on my sunglasses and dashed outta there at 65. I love going fast. 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two  
We reached Lem's house in no time flat. She got out of the car. "Thanks for the ride Belle. I'll see you later."  
"No prob. See ya." And I sped off the lousy two blocks to my pink and gray stoned row house/ town house. I parked my Mustang and took the steps two at a time. I was eager to get back to the station and I needed to change. I slammed the door and dropped my keys on the small coffee table right beside it. No one was there as usual. It's only me and my mom. We left my father when I was about 4 or 5. He lives a couple of towns over. I still see him. When he's not working. My dad's in theater and work is basically his life. My mom's a teacher. She has meetings and classes after work sometimes. I went and changed my skirt to jeans and boots. I left the T-shirt on. Now I really looked like a Greaser. Greasers are the ones with jeans and tennis shoes or boots. Not Madras and khakis with loafers. Those are the Socs. I usually fit in more with the Greaser cloths. They're way more comfortable. But I didn't wear them all the time. Sometimes I put on a long skirt and a really nice blouse with very small heeled loafers. That was Soc dress. Sometimes I wore a mix of the two. Sometimes I just did something completely different. When no one really notices you, and you don't really know what you should really be wearing, it doesn't really make any difference if you don't look like everyone else. And if someone did think what I was wearing was strange and actually said anything to me, I'd just beat them up. Then I pulled my hair into a high ponytail. It wouldn't be there for long, I think that I look better with it down, but I noticed that guys loved it when I shook it down around my face. I have really unusual hair and I love it. It's long, half curly and half straight. It's color is really unusual too. It's light brown, blond, and with a hint of red all at the same time. In the summer, the sun bleaches my hair even lighter than it is. In winter, it can get pretty dark. I guess you would say it changes according to season. Now that I was dressed 'greaser style' I was ready to go. I left my mom a note saying that I was at work if she needed me and that I would be home later. I dashed outta the house, got in my baby, and high-tailed it to the DX.The only real uniform we have, or at least I have, is a baseball hat and name tag. I walked into the station. Soda was up front, stocking the shelves with motor oil. I looked behind the register where I usually keep my hat. My name tag was there, but not my hat. " Hey Soda, you seen my hat around?" I asked, shuffling through a box of candy to see if I had accidentally just dropped it there when I had left the day before.  
" Oh, sure. It's in the back. I put it there yesterday when I saw it in a box of TWIX."  
" Thanks Soda." I went to the back and got my hat.   
" Hey, Belle?"  
" Yeah, Soda?" I said loudly from the back room.  
" You'd tell me if there was anything going on right?" He said. He sounded a little worried. I walked out of the coat room and looked at him. He looked really down. Real worried about something.  
" What're you talkin' about Soda?" I asked. Soda always wears this baseball cap with DX embroidered on it. He put his hand on the back of his head and rubbed it, moving the cap up and down a little. He looked down.  
"Well, like if there was anything going on with Sandy or something." He suddenly looked up at me, at my face. I drew a slow breath. " Wouldn't you?" I cocked my head to one side a little bit. I looked at him. I was starting to get real worried about him.  
" Of course I would Soda. You know I would." I said firmly and what I hope was reassuringly. His face broke into a smile. Soda can never stay worried for long. It just isn't in him. I moved to the register and stretched. I relaxed and reached up and pulled my ponytail holder. I shook my head slightly as I pulled and my hair came tumbling down around my shoulders, and a little past that. I put on my hat, stuck in my name tag, and looked around. Soda looked at me, smiling. I knew that he loved my hair. " You just love teasing us don't you Belle?" he asked, cracking a bigger smile.  
" Oh, you know I do." I said half joking. I laughed. About an hour later, Ponyboy, Dally, and Johnny walked in. Johnny is the gang's pet. His parents, when they actually acknowledge that he exists, usually beat the hell out of him. Dally was a real hood. He came from New York City. No one really knows the story, only that he was running from something. He must have done something really bad. Dally never runs from anything except maybe the police. And even then, only on special occasions. He was real tough. He was always getting into fights and getting into trouble. With Socs and Greasers. The police had a whole file on him. But I wasn't scared of him like most people. For some reason, he seemed to like me and I don't know why, but I just really understood the guy. He could always make me laugh. I know Pony didn't like him and Johnny thought that he was a real hero and worshipped the ground he walked on. Soda and Steve, Two-Bit, and Darry got along OK with him, although I think everyone was a tiny tiny bit afraid of him. That kid had a temper like you wouldn't believe. Most of the other Greasers got along OK with him, but some of them he just really pissed off. Anyway, I knew they'd come around sooner or later. Pony was absolutely crazy about Soda and I know the feeling was mutual. "Hey Belle! So when are you gonna ditch this place and run away with me somewhere?" said Dally joking with me.   
" Hey Dally. Oh, I can't right now Dally, but uh, come back later and we'll see what we can work out.", I said joking. I smiled. We both laughed. They stuck around for a little while, then headed out to the drive-in. The drive-in that would change my whole world, or at least, my outlook on it. But I didn't know that yet. My day was really uneventful. AT around 12:00 p.m. we closed up shop and I gave Soda a ride home. I knew how dangerous it was for a Grease to be caught alone. " Thanks for the ride Belle.", he said. "See ya tomorrow."  
"See ya Soda." He opened the gate, ran up the steps and opened the door. He turned and waved. I waved back. He slammed the door shut. "Darry! The mail here yet?" I heard him yell from the inside. He always said that. Everytime I drove him home, which was often enough when the gang wasn't around, I heard him say that. Darry, or Darrel, is Soda's other brother. He's twenty and he didn't go to college so that he could get a job and support Soda and Pony when their parents died. Darry loves Soda. He usually doesn't let anybody make fun of him, but I knew he liked it when Soda did it. Pony and Darry didn't get along too well. Actually, they didn't get along at all. Darry always pushed too hard and Pony never used his head, which, in his social position was really dangerous. I know that Soda absolutely HATED it when they fought. Sometimes, when it got real bad, he'd run here crying. When you're a Greaser, your not supposed to cry. You're supposed to keep it inside and use it as anger. It can come in handy for rumbles, but it really messes you up. Soda's different though. He won't bottle it up. He's got so much feeling, keeping that in there is just a waste of space. He's got more important things to fill it with, although I know that he wouldn't let anyone know it. When he came here, he'd go in the back where no one could see him. No one but me anyway, and I'd never tell. God, I wanted to run to him then. I wanted to comfort him so badly. I wanted him to cry on my shoulder and I'd kiss him and everything would be OK. But I couldn't. I couldn't let him know how I really felt about him. I didn't know what he would do or say and his friendship was the most important one that I had. The only thing I could do was walk over to him, put my hand on his shoulder and tell him, just once, that everything would be OK. That it'd all work out in the end. And it killed me that I couldn't do more. Anyway, I live right on the middle of the tracks. If you were going to be very meticulous I was about three inches to the Soc side. I went home slowly. Although I was never bothered by Greasers or Socs, it was usually because I was wearing half and half and letting everyone know I wasn't one or the other. Tonight though, I had to be more careful. If some drunk Socs cam along, they might mistake me for a Grease. I was dressed like one after all. But the only thing I saw was a Mustang full of whisky drunk Socs, heading towards the park. They were too busy yelling at each other to pay attention to me. I got home and got a shower. I climbed into bed and fell asleep. Unaware that my world was suddenly going to start changing forever, however slowly the ENTIRE process took. 


	3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three  
The next morning at about 7:00 I got up, got dressed, and sleepily headed out to the DX Station. I peeled away from the curb, going at least 50. As far as it goes, I usually follow all the rules or at least when I don't I never let anyone in charge know it. But speeding was a different matter. I loved the speed. It was apart of me I guess you could say. I just didn't pay any attention to speed limits. For me, there was no limit. It was like flying. I loved it. In some cases though, I just hoped that the wind would really wake me up. A cop stopped me half way there but I flipped my hair and smiled and he let me off with a warning. Cops are so easy. I sped off and slammed into the station at 55 mph. I got outta the car, yawned, stretched, and walked to the door. It was unlocked. Strange. Usually I'm the first one there. I heard quiet noises coming from the back. "Hello?", I called out. I went to the back room slowly. If a Grease was there, he might have a heater and a Grease or a Soc for that matter, with a heater, is almost certainly VERY dangerous. You see, a heater just happens to be a gun. I went to the door. It was open a crack. I looked inside, fearing the worst. But when I opened the door it wasn't someone trying to rob us. It was someone else entirely. "Soda? What are you doing here so early?" I said in surprise. " What's the matter?" Soda was standing, leaning rather, with his back to the side wall. He was crying. Harder than I've ever seen him cry. His shirt was open and he hadn't even put on his shoes. I know he hates them, but he usually just slips them on as soon as he walks in. They weren't even there. He looked at me in slight surprise, tears still running down his face. "Oh, Belle. It's Ponyboy and Sandy. They're both gone!", he managed to gasp in between quiet sobs. And with that, he let out a loud sob and slid to the floor. I'd never seen Soda like this. Not this bad. Not ever this bad. My eyes started glistening. I hated seeing Soda like this. I knew that this was REALLY bad. It tore me up inside. It was so unlike the eternally happy, always looking at the good side, forever making you laugh Sodapop. I thought, 'Ok Belle, just do what you usually do. Don't lose control.' I was starting to shake a little. My breath came in little gasps. 'Don't run to him. Don't you dare let him know you love him. Don't rush into his arms.' But I saw him there, crying harder than I've ever seen, and I ignored my own thoughts and warnings. I rushed to him. I mean, I really RAN. I slid to the floor beside him and he turned and looked at me, unable to stop crying. I threw my arms around him. "Oh Sodapop, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." I looked in his gorgeous brown eyes and for once in my life I let my love shine through my eyes into his. I'd never let anyone know, not even Lem, how much I really loved him. I loved him with all my heart. A look of final understanding dawned in his. And something else that I couldn't quite place. He put his arms around me and cried into my shoulder. Not the petty tears that some people have when they get in trouble or don't have their way, but really cried. Cried like someone who's world has suddenly come crashing down around him and he can't a thing about it. And he wasn't loud and he wasn't pathetic when he cried. He was soft and quiet, but he just let all of it out. If he had been holding back some tears before, he let them flow, probably for the first time in his life, like a waterfall. Like I always wanted him to. I stroked his hair. "It's gonna be ok Sodapop. Everything's gonna turn out all right." I whispered in his ear over and over as I rocked slightly back and forth. After a while, he finally stopped. He lifted his head and unwrapped his arms from around me. It took a lot of control, but I finally let go of him. Tears were silently streaming slowly down my face. "Hey, I'll be all right Belle. What're you crying for? Don't you think one bawl-baby on staff is enough?", he said, with a slight smile. I laughed a little between the tears. "Oh, Soda. I HATE seeing you like this. It just tears me up inside."  
"Oh, Belle. I had no idea. I mean, I know that you flirt with me, but all girls do. And you flirt with a lot of other guys too, although you don't seem to know you're doing it. Flirting with me seems to be a built in instict for most girls."  
"I know you didn't know Soda. And you're right, I guess I really don't know that I'm flirting. It's just... built in. But it's different with you Soda. I've tried so hard not to let you know how I really feel about you. That your not just another cute guy to me."  
"Why Belle?"  
"Because. I don't stand a chance with all the girls after you. You've got Greasers, Socs, Middlers, all just waiting in line for their chance to get at you. They like you because of how you look. They don't know who you really are. I know. But in my experience guys usually just like the super skinny, really beautiful, super-model types who don't really know anything about them, but are in love with the way look. Not me. Besides, it wouldn't have mattered. You had Sandy." I said, the last part with disgust. " That two-timing broad had you wrapped around her little finger." I gasped. "Oh,no! Oh, my God, Soda, I...I...I...", I trailed off. In my rush on an explanation I had completely blown a secret I had sworn I would never tell Soda.   
"Sandy what?", he said completely shocked. Soda's brown eyes looked into my blue ones. His eyes always betrayed what he was really and completely feeling. He's got too much emotion for them not to. I saw shock, hurt, and confusion. There was something else too, but I couldn't place it. I rushed to explain. "I saw her with Clark Welling down at the drive-in. I'm surpried that Pony didn't spot them. Anyway, I saw her kissing him when I snuck into a late-night movie. I told her she was an idiot for cheating on you. That she'd never find anyone as wonderful as you." I blushed. "She told me to get lost, so I did. I swore that I'd never tell you. I just couldn't tell you Soda." He looked hurt and confused.  
"But..but.. she coudn't have. Her..her parents sent her away. They didn't want her to marry me." I looked at him, this was killing me.  
"I know that she was sent to Florida because her parents didn't want her to marry a Greaser. She told me. But you weren't the Greaser." I winced. I HATED calling him a Greaser and I hoped I hadn't sounded like a Soc when I'd said it. I went on. "You weren't the reason they sent her away, you weren't the one, Soda." I had started to cry again. "I couldn't tell you Soda. I just couldn't. I can't stand to see you hurt and I knew this would really hurt you. I wish that I could take it all back. But I can't. I know I told you that I'd tell you if anything was up but I just... i just couldn't." I had been talking a little fast in between sobs. Now I slowed down a little. "I...I love you too much to have told you." I had been looking at the floor, now I looked at his face. He still looked hurt but there was a new emotion there now. It made his eyes shine bright. I leaned forward and said softly, "I love you Sodapop." And I did something I've been yearning to do for two years. I kissed him. Softly at first, then a little harder and more deeply when I realized he was kissing me back. It was the most wonderful feeling in the whole world. I finally knew what that emotion was in his eyes that made them burn bright. It was love. He loved me back!!!! We sat there kissing for I don't know how long. A couple of minutes. Five maybe ten. I don't know. I didn't really care. Just having his lips on mine was pure heaven. After we stopped kissing, we got up off the floor. I wiped the tear streaks from Soda's face. Greasers aren't supposed to cry. They're supposed to be tough. I too wiped my eyes. I hate it when I cry. I'm not supposed to be weak, just undecided. Right at that moment I was ready to give up everything I worked so hard for. My grades, my reputation. I was ready to just chick it all in and turn completely into a Greaser. But for some reason I can't explain, something told me to wait a little while. This time I listened. I know the difference between my heart and my conscience. Sometimes you listen one, sometimes you listen to the other. This time I had a feeling that I should listen to my conscience. Soda was glowing but he was still really really upset about Pony and Sandy. Pony was still gone and it would take him a while to get over Sandy. Me, I was ecstatic. Me and Soda. Together at last. It was a dream come true, literally. But there was something wrong and I could sense it. His face cleared after a while though and Steve walked in. "Hey Soda, hey Belle."  
"Hey." I said.  
"Hey." said Soda.  
"Um,, Steve, you stil working on that Honda? I told Mr.Harmond we'd have it ready by today." I said quickly when Steve started looking back and forth between us suspiciously like he knew something was up. He still didn't know that Sandy was gone, let alone that she had cheated on Soda.  
"Yeah.", he said slowly, looking at Soda. Then he looked at me. "Yeah, I'm just about finished with it. All me an' Soda have to do is those damn windshield wipers. We've gone through ten pair this week. Heck, it ain't even raining!", he said. He walked to the garage, Soda following. I looked at the clock. 8:00! Jeez, customers would be coming in by then and I had to stock some stuff. Also, Lem would be up by now. I went to the front. I stocked the Cokes and magazines and dragged the phone to the counter. I picked up the handle and dialed Lem's number. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four  
After about three rings, she picked up the phone. " Hello?"  
" Hi. Lem, it's me Belle. Guess what?"  
"What?"  
Come to the DX, I have to tell you in person. It's wayyyy to good for the phone." I said excitedly.  
"Oh, all right. Give me fifteen minutes."  
"OK, bye"  
"Bye"  
I waited the fifteen minutes out impatiently until she showed up.  
"Oh my God Lem, you'll never guess what happened." I said as soon as she walked over to me.  
" OK, I give up. What happened?"  
I looked around. I pulled her real close and I said, " Me and Soda." real quiet and excited.   
She looked a little confused. " What about you and Soda?"  
I looked at her meaningfully with a big smile on my face and started rocking on the balls of my feet a little. " We......"  
Suddenly it dawned on her. "Oh my God! Belle, you and Soda? Together?" she said a little loudly. I put my finger to my lips to make her a little more quiet. But I was still rocking on the balls of my feet and my smile got a little wider when she said it.   
"Yeah!" I said. And we did that girlish scream where you hold each other's arms and jump up and down and scream laughing. Soda and Steve came in. "What the hell are you two doing?" asked Steve, completely bewildered.  
"Oh, nothing." I said, trying not to laugh and keep a straight face. I failed at the straight face part.  
"Yeah, Belle was just telling me a little bit of gossip about.....someone." said Lem, trying like me, to keep a straight face, and failing. She glanced at Soda and then at me. WE both burst out laughing. Soda and Steve looked at us like we were crazy and then walked back into the garage, slowly shaking their heads. I thought I saw Soda blush though. "Oh my God Belle. I'm so happy for you! You and Sodapop, I can't believe it."  
"Yeah, me neither. But it's true!" I said happily.  
" Now I've got a little bit of news for you. It's not happy but it does lightly involve your Sodapop Curtis." she said mysteriously.  
"Oh? What is it? Tell me!" I said eagerly. But it wasn't the happy news I had expected, despite Lem's warnings which I obviously ignored. It was juicy all right, but it wasn't just plain old gossip. This was NEWS.   
"Last night Ponyboy, Dally, and Johnny came through here right?"  
"Yeah. So what?"  
"Well, do you know where they went after they left here?"  
"No. It was dark by then. I couldn't see where they headed off to."  
"They went to the drive-in. And guess who they picked up?"   
"Who?:" I asked excitedly.  
  
Lem gestured with her forefinger to come closer. I looked around a little and leaned in towards her.  
"Cherry Valance and her very Socy friend Marcia!"  
I gasped. "Nooooo." I said, dying to hear more. Cherry and Marcia are two very hotshot Soc cheerleaders. Especially Cherry. I'd had a conversation with her once. I could tell she was different from most Socs, but she was definitely a Soc all the same. "What about Bob and Randy?" I asked excitedly. Bob and Randy are their VERY Soc boyfriends. I know for a fact that they'd hate Cherry and Marcia to even be seen with them, but picked up by them? That must have made them, especially Bob, go off the deep end.   
"Cherry and Marcia left 'em when they found out they were drinking. You know those two, guzzling Jack Daniels like it was water and they were in the middle of the desert."  
I shook my head in pity. "Yeah I know."  
"Anyway, Ponyboy and Johnny started to walk them home. But, guess who spotted them. drunk in that blue Mustang 'n all?"  
I gasped. It seemed as if my suspicions about Bob not being very happy were confirmed. But I didn't know how drastic it really was. "Oh,no!"  
She nodded. "Yep. Bob and Randy. And didn't they try to start something until Cherry agreed that she and Marcia would go with them?" she answered her own question. "Of course they did. So, after that apparently Pony and Johnny went to the lot. You know how they always go down there. They like to look at the stars or something." I nodded. I knew how much Pony liked stars and sunsets. There was something really......golden about that kid. Lem went on. "Pony fell asleep and when he finally woke up and went back home, Darry was so mad he slapped him clear across the room!"  
My eyes grew wide and I gasped. I knew that the two of them fought, but I also knew that Darry'd never hit him before. At all. Hardly ever touched the kid. "Noooo!" I said, only half disbelievingly. I also knew Darry had a temper like the devil. He worried about Pony too much all the time. Didn't know how to make it show though, other than being tough on him.  
Lem nodded her head again. "Yes. And neither him or Soda went after him when he ran off. Straight out the door and down the street."   
That hit me kinda hard. I mean, Soda ain't the person to let anyone go feeling awful about themselves. Especially Ponyboy. He loved him to death. With Soda's heart, I couldn't believe that Soda would just let him go. " No, Soda wouldn't do that."  
"Well, I hate to break it to ya Belle, but he did. Now, can I finish my story?" she asked impatiently. Much as I hated to hear that about Soda, I still had to know the rest. While curiosity killed the cat, curiosity would also kill me if I didn't give in to it. "All right, all right. C'mon let's hear the rest of it." "Thank you." she said, a tiny bit miffed. But she got over it really quick. "Anyway, Pony got Johnny and they decided that they'd go for a nice long walk in the park." My eyes grew wide, remembering the blue Mustang full of drunk Socs, heading towards the park that I had seen the night before.  
"No! Bob and Randy didn't go after them, did they?"  
"Of course they did, the.." and she proceeded to go off swearing every name under the sun that she could think of for a couple of minutes. "Anyway, when Bob and Randy tried to drown Ponyboy in that fountain, Johnny pulled a blade on them and guess what he did with it?"  
"Oh, no! Johnny couldn't have!" I said stubbornly. Then I thought. "Could he?" I asked, doubting my own statement. Johnny had gotten beat up really badly by some Socs. Some Socs in a blue Mustang. Johnny was scared of everything after that. Could the Socs in the blue Mustang be Bob and his little following? If it was, I know Johnny wouldn't let anyone touch him. But especially if the same Soc who beat him tried to drown his best friend. Maybe sweet, scared little Johnny could do something drastic. Unfortunately, I was right.  
"Oh yes he could and he did!" Lem said emphatically. "He stabbed Bob with that switchblade until he was dead." I gasped. "And guess what they did then?"  
"What?" I asked, almost scared of the answer. I hoped those two had high-tailed it outta town.  
"They went to Dallas Winston, who got them outta there. Maybe that hood's good for something after all."  
Needless to say, Lem doesn't share my affection for Dallas Winston. While I stood up to him and wasn't scared of him. Actually enjoyed his rude comments and his weird sense of humor, she was like the rest of the world on the point of Dallas Winston: he was a good-for-nothing hood. I knew better. She went on. "No one can find them. Not even Sodapop." That hit me like a ton of bricks. Not even Sodapop. I suddenly understood the meaning of Ponyboy's gone and why he was crying.  
"Oh no, poor Sodapop!" I went to the window and looked at Sodapop, working on the cars. Ignoring the fact that he might never see Pony again, and even if he did it'd probably behind some bars at the local prison. 'How can he do it?' I thought. 'How can he just keep going? How does he stay so happy?' Despite what it may seem, Sodapop Curtis is no crybaby. Not by far. He's always happy and positive, and optimistic. He's always grinning and his eyes are almost always smiling. It's only a few times that he's lost control. Only when it gets really really bad. He's just got so much emotion. He can be ecstatic one minute , you can see it in his eyes. But his eyes can go stormy. He could get so angry, only a couple of people would even dare to go within two feet of him. I was one of those people. I'd stopped more fights than I could count. He's perfect. He's gorgeous, smart, funny, he can be totally ecstatic one minute, and then furious the next. He could always make me laugh and see the good in life, no matter what. He got drunk constantly but it wasn't with alcohol. He never touched a drop. He didn't need to. He got drunk on life itself. He was tough and caring. He could fight like mad, beat the hell out of anyone. When he loved someone, really loved them, he loved them deep into his soul. He'd do anything for them. And he understood almost everything. Sodapop was my dream. He was perfect. Especially for me. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five  
Anyway, it must have been devastating for Soda; Pony and Johnny killing someone and then running off without telling anyone where they went.   
"Hey, you gonna be OK Belle?" Lem had walked over and stood slightly behind me while I watched Soda through the glass.  
"Yeah, I'll be all right Lem. It's Soda that I'm worried about. He's not gonna get out of this one without being hurt. And not just his heart Lem. I feel a rumble coming on."   
She put her hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at her. She looked really worried. Her eyes told it to me and I know she saw the fear, in my eyes. No matter, how hot as hell Soda could get with his temper, a rumble was still dangerous. Especially if the other side didn't fight fair. Oh, Soda could more than hold his own. But I still worried like hell every time they all went out to "fight to almost the death."  
"Yeah, I know. I feel it too." Lem said quietly. Rumbles are big trouble for us Middlers. While only a few of us actually fight in the rumble, we still get all torn up, time after time. We have to decide whether to be with the Greasers or the Socs. We have to decide where we belong, even if it only lasts a little while. We start to turn on each other. It's bad enough being alone, but when all you've got is yourself, and maybe, if you're really lucky, some friends, deciding where you wanna be can be torture. Once, me and Lem were against one another. I sided with Greasers, as I usually do, and she sided with Socs. We didn't talk to each other for weeks and weeks on end. We had become a Greaser and a Soc, and Greasers and Socs are NOT friends. Most people believe the people in the Middle got it good. We never get hurt because nothing is our business. Those people are wrong. It's worse for us. In a rumble, Greasers forget all other 'grievances' they might have for each other at the moment and pull together against the Socs. Socs all forget their 'grievances' against each other and pull together against the Greasers. Not us. We go against each other. We take sides. It's awful. We all hate it, but there was nothing we could do about it. We can't help our own personal opinions and feelings. We all begin to take sides unconsciously. We all side with one or the other. And when we do, we make it known! We go completely Grease or Soc. In the way we act, talk, dress, everything. Rumbles are as much our business as they are everyone else's.  
"Whose side you gonna be on this time Lem?" I asked softly, still staring at Soda, having turned to look at him once more ever since I told her I felt the rumble coming on.  
"Greaser all the way Belle." she said firmly. I looked at her and smiled. I knew she'd be with me all the way on this one.   
"Thanks Lem." I said, and smiled, relieved, at her. At that exact moment, me and Lem officially became best friends. We may not always side together, but we would on this and this one was too important to me not to go Grease. Soda was at stake and with me, he always won. And Lem would be by my side.  
I finally turned away from the window. If I looked at Soda anymore then I'd start crying again. I can't stand that. The only two times I cry is at movies, ( and that's all alone in my room at home), and with Soda. I'm tougher than I seem. But, much as I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about the rumble. A rumble, in the first place, was inevitable. The thought that one wouldn't take place never even crossed my mind. Good thing, I needed time to get ready.  
You might say rumbles are stupid, that they don't solve anything. You'd be right. But that doesn't mean that some people really believed that if you beat someone enough times, then you'd finally be equal. Socs literally terrorized the Greasers. The only thing Greasers wanted to do was belong. Unfortunatly, the harder they tried, the more trouble they seemed to attract from the Socs. If the Greasers won, it wouldn't matter. The Socs would just be even more angry at them for beating them. If anything, they would be remembered for being more dangerous. And that is one of the things that make Greasers outsiders. They're tough, dangerous. Hoods. It would lead to rumble after rumble after rumble. It would never end. And it didn't. But the feeling of victory after a rumble was enough. You felt.... justified. If you or a friend had got beat up, rumbles were perfect revenge. Just make sure the guy that did it is the one you go up against. Plain and simple, rumbles were a competition to see who was stronger, better. Like a dance, as Soda once said when I asked him why he kept on fighting. Everyone went for different reasons, but they all went. Soon, even I got hyped about them, but I still hated it when Soda or one of the gang either skipped work or came in wincing the next day from being hurt so bad. And they all refused to go to a doctor. So, I had studied first aid and some procedures, like casts, to help out after a rumble. If THEY wouldn't go to a doc, then I would become one and go to them. You just gotta love all those boys. Soda's house was always open in case someone ever needed a place to crash. We all went there before and after rumbles. At least, when you were a Grease you did. Sometimes I had to side with the Socs. Like, one time Tim Shephard jumped a Soc. A Greaser actually jumped a Soc. And he went after him pretty bad too. Guy ended up in a coma. The Soc happened to be my boyfriend. He's long since gone, but he was my boyfriend then. And in love with Soda or no, you don't beat up my guy and then get me on your side. I can be VERY vindictive. But this time was different from my guy being beat. First of all, I wasn't with a Soc. I may be utterly in love with Soda, but Sandy was around and I couldn't just stay home bored and stop breathing or feeling. I needed to have some fun. But I was still hopelessly in love with Soda. Still am.   
Anyway, I went back behind the register. Lem followed me. "So, Lem, how's Antoine?" I asked. Her older brother Antoine had been kicked into a reformatory for six months after robbing a convenience store. I was his own fault he got caught. He wanted kicks, he got caught, he was sent to a reformatory. No big deal. With that stuff, it's the same policy as with the Greasers. If you're gonna do it, do it. But don't get caught. If you get caught, it's your own damn fault and you deserve what's coming to you. Antoine got caught. He went to the reformatory. No sweat, no hard feelings. Maybe next time he'd be more careful.  
"Oh, he's doing all right Belle."she said nonchalantly. "He says it's no worse than being here."  
"That's good. We wouldn't want him to be *unhappy*, now would we?" I said sarcastically.  
"No, that we wouldn't want him to be."she said laughing. I sighed suddenly.  
"What is it?" Lem asked.  
"Soda's fan club, twelve o'clock."I said, disgusted. A group of girls, a mix of Greasers, Socs, and Middlers were coming straight towards us. These were the girls who came almost everyday to flirt with Soda. And I mean, flirt MERCILESSLY. These girls had no shame. He probably enjoyed it a lot of the time. But I know he thought they were just annoying sometimes. I thought they were annoying ALL the time! They'd come in snapping gum. They'd ask for sodas and candy or anything else they wanted, and they moved outside to where the pumps are. Then, they'd lean on whatever cars were there and chatter endlessly. After a little bit, Soda always came out to fill the gas tanks and check the oil, etc. etc. And then they'd flirt. And flirt. And flirt some more. Did I mention the flirting? Not all the girls were annoying. I know some of them. They were OK girls. It was just the ones that were really RELENTLESS. And they were jerks about it too. They all envied me. I saw him everyday. Talked to him all day. If only they knew the other things we did. The things were had done just this morning. They'd turn positively GREEN!! I smiled smugly at the thought of it. Then they came in. They ordered. They received. They went back out. Me and Lem looked at them, looked at each other, burst out laughing and followed them outside. I wanted, no I needed, gossip today. Good gossip. About anything. Especially about Soda's situation. If anyone could gossip, these girls could. That's all they did ALL day. I don't even know if some of them even had lives outside of coming here. Those girls knew everything juicy there was to know. Not all of it was true, but I figured I could really piece together what happened. Lem was pretty accurate, always was; but there might be more info. Anything to find where Pony and Johnny were hiding. I knew this was killing Soda so anything I could do to help, I would do. "Hey girls."I said cheerfully.  
"Hey Belle. Hey Lem." they answered back almost in unison. Me and Lem glanced at each other. We knew what the other was thinking. In mine and Lem's opinion, (not to mention a lot of other people's) they were about as intelligent as a mentally challenged squirrel. So, I said everything cheerfully and clearly, hoping they would have enough brains to figure out what I was saying. "Hey, did you hear about Ponyboy and Johnny?" I asked.  
"Oh yeah! It's all over town. All three sections even!!"said a Middler named Candy. She's one of the ones who's tried to be a Soc her whole life. I thought she acted like one pretty good. She was cold, aloof, and hated almost every Greaser.  
"Can you believe it? I mean, Pony and Johnny? They always seemed so quiet. Never acted like hoods at all." said a short, slim Greaser with fake platinum blond hair and fake curls. Along with way too much makeup, she had a high squeeky voice like a mouse that sounded as if she had worked very hard to get it that way.  
"They weren't hoods."said Lem, a bit defensivly. I shot her a relieved glance. She knows how much I hate it when someone calls anyone from the Curtis family hoods.  
"Hey, back off. Take it easy."said Candy. "She was just talkin."  
"Yeah, I know. Anyway, where do you think Dally hid them?" I asked. "He's used to hiding out. I know he got into a whole lot of trouble in New York. Does here too."  
"Yeah, I know. He's probably got a couple of good places." Candy said. "Hey, do you know they already dragged him down to the police station?" Some of the girls gasped. She nodded. "Yup. He told them that..." she looked around suspiciously and beckoned for us to get closer. "He told them that Pony and Johnny went to TEXAS." she whispered excitedly, obviously feeling important.  
"TEXAS!?"I asked loudly.  
"Shhhh!" she said.  
"What the hell would he send them to TEXAS for?!"  
"I don't know! Maybe he has a couple of 'friends' down there."  
I didn't really believe her. Dally Winston wouldn't tell cops ANYTHING true, especially about Johnny. God, he loved that kid! Johnny, as I said, worshipped the ground Dally walked on. Dally, for all his toughness, was really a sweet guy when it came to him and me and sometimes Johnny. Always joking around, I never really minded when he talked dirty. I can have quite a mouth myself when I get into that kind of mood. I talked to the girls for a little while more. Like real gossip, the usual. Who was going with who, who stole what, who got locked up. Then I got bored with them and me and Lem went back inside. I'd brought my homework with me. It was Sunday and I had school tomorrow. I'm really smart, they put me in all the advanced classes, I have some with Pony. They even moved me up a grade and put me in all THOSE advanced classes. I had some with Pony. Me'n Soda never had classes together. Soda was smart. Real smart. But, he just wasn't book smart. He learned everything from either experience or hearing it from someone. Anyone but teachers. The only thing he was passing was gym and auto, so he dropped out. I really miss him. I'm a perfectionist when it comes to school, so whenever I got something less than 100, I got really mad and disappointed. I freak out. Soda would always talk to me and cheer me up. Calm me down, you know? He always makes me laugh. by next class, I'd be feeling WONDERFUL. You would've thought someone told me I had just won a million dollars. Anyway, because I was so smart teachers always felt compelled to give me a ton of homework. I HATE homework. But I did it anyway. I brought out my English book, paper, a pen, and my copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream. I had to write a paper on the Hermia, Lysander, Demetrius love triangle. How appropriate. Lem let out a groan.  
"Not again! Belle!"Lem whined.  
"I know Lem, but I gotta."  
"Look, if you're doing this,...*homework*" she said it like it was a dead, contagious, disgusting animal. A smile formed on my lips. "thing again, I'm outta here!"  
"You're right Lem."I laughed then sighed. "Have a good time shopping." I broke into a smile again. She looked at me. We both burst out laughing.   
"I think you're going to have a pretty good time yourself." she said. I raised my eyebrows and smiled mysteriously. "I'll see ya later Belle!" she said, still laughing.  
"See ya" I said, my laughs having calmed down some, but not completely. She left.   
I set to work on my, well, work. Soda came in looking for a Pepsi. He came around the counter and stood next to me. "Belle, you working on homework?" he asked, looking over my shoulder at my copy of Midsummer. Soda was 16, so he was a Soph when he dropped. They moved me to Soph about three weeks afterwards. "Yeah." I made a face. "Teachers insist on giving it to me by the truck load." He laughed. "You're lucky. You don't have to deal with Shakespeare anymore. Or his very melancholy and humorous attitude every two weeks."I said. "Hey Soda?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Why'd you drop out? I miss having you there like crazy!"  
He looked at me.I looked down for a minute, and then lifted my eyes to his.  
"You know why Belle. I'm not smart."  
"Yes you are Soda." I said defiantly and stubbornly. "You're just not... book smart."  
"You're sweet Belle, you know that?"   
I smiled and blushed. He leaned forward. I tilted my head up and back slightly and his head angled towards mine even more. Our lips touched and as the electricity went through my body and I heard a whole damn orchestra playing, I managed to swivel around in the chair so that I was facing him more comfortably. I slowly reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck and threaded my fingers through his hair as he deepened the kiss. He put his hands on my hips and drew me and the stool closer. I pulled back a tiny bit and he leaned his forehead against mine. I looked in his eyes and sighed happily. I licked my lips. He tilted his head and pressed his lips against mine again. The fire going through my body was electrifying. He slid his tongue slightly on the inside my mouth, tracing my lips before gently pressing against my teeth. I got the hint and opened my mouth. His tongue slipped in and he gently, but eagerly started to explore my mouth. I shivered in delight and moaned slightly, relishing in the feeling of him and me together, and his tongue inside my mouth. It just felt so... right. Just at that moment, Steve walked in. Of course! Just my luck. 


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter 6  
"Soda, what the HELL are you doing?!"he yelled. I opened my eyes. Soda jumped slightly back and I quickly unwound my arms from around him.  
"Steve!" I glared at him, angry as hell for him breaking the kiss. But then I remembered he knew nothing about Sandy. "Hi!" my voice suddenly high.  
"Um, um. Well.. we were just.... just." Soda stammered trailing off, unable to find the words to explain. Steve walked behind the counter quickly.  
"What they hell are you two doing?" he asked again, angrily his voice loud. "Soda, what the hell are you doing cheating on Sandy?" His voice got louder. "She's gone for less than two fucking DAYS and already you're cheating on her! I can't believe you! You fucking asshole!" He rambled on and on about Soda. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, the hurt look on Soda's face at his best friends half betrayal. I quickly stepped in front of him protectivly. "Stop it!!!!!" I screamed at Steve. "Just stop it!" I screeched. They both looked at me in shock.Steve stopped immediatly.I never, ever screamed at THEM. Other people, yeah sometimes, but never THEM. I told you I have a temper and when I lose it, I lose it big. And I had lost it. "SHE was the one cheating on HIM! And she started about two months BEFORE she even fucking left!" I yelled as loud as I could, tears streaming down my face. " So don't you fucking DARE yell at him about cheating, alright?! They aren't together anymore. She told me she was gonna break up with him even if she hadn't been sent to Florida." I was still yelling. I sniffed and wiped the tears out of my eyes. I turned and looked into Soda's big, brown eyes. I saw the look there. "Soda, I'm so so sorry." I said softly. Apparently Soda still thought she'd choose him over Clark anyday by the look on his face and in his eyes. I reached up a hand and softly carressed his face. I pressed a soft and loving kiss on his cheek and whispered in his ear, "I'm so so sorry Soda." then I kissed his cheek again and turned towards Steve. Soda's taller than me, but not too taller than me. It was relativly easy to kiss his cheek with only slightly reaching up. I was still in front of Soda and I leaned against him slightly. He didn't move. He didn't do anything. I was only half relieved however. I looked at Steve. He looked stunned.   
"Soda? Is she telling the truth? She ain't lying?" he asked softly. Soda slowly looked at his face.  
"Yeah, I guess she is telling the truth. She isn't lying."he said softly. Tears welled in his eyes.  
"Hey, man, I'm sorry ok? I'm sorry." said Steve.  
But Soda wasn't listening. I felt a little strange. A knot started in my stomach. I slowly turned and looked at him. He was looking at me, tears about to drop. "I can't believe you didn't tell me." He suddenly looked at Steve. "You should have known! You don't start on me! My life is my business. And you've cheated dozens of times!" he said loudly. He looked at both of us angrily. I shrank back slightly, afraid for the first time of his anger.  
"Soda.." I said experimentally, trying to think of something to say. But Soda had had enough. He shook his angrily at us and ran out the door and then out of sight. Me and Steve looked at each other.  
"After him!" I said. "We have to go after him!"  
Steve nodded and we both shot out the door after him, me locking the door and turning the open sign to closed as we raced out the door. We ran and ran, trying to figure out where he would go. Suddenly I got it. Me and Steve were running side by side. "The park!" I said to him as he got back on course with me after veering. But only slightly. We shot through the lot, passed the Curtis's and to the park. I'm a really fast runner. I'm on the track and cross-country team and everything. Steve was fast too, so we got there in about five minutes all together. We got to the grass. I slowed to a stop and leaned on my knees, gasping for breath slightly. Steve came up next to me and started to look around, breathing heavy. I stood up straight and started to look around myself. Then I saw him. He was sitting on the grass, his back to the fountain, softly crying. As frequent as Soda's crying seems, he almost never cries and most certainly, NEVER in public. But so much had happened to him with almost no time for him to get used to any of it. "Steve." I said quietly and pointed at Soda. His shoulders were starting to shake.  
"Belle, I'm sorry." Steve said, almost whispering.  
"I know you are."I said. and put my hand on his arm lightly. Steve was Soda's best friend and I needed to keep him as one of my friends too. Steve had a hard time with his father. A whole lot of bottled up anger and hatred. The second most dangerous of the gang. But I understood and he knew that. He loved me for it. As a sister. And I loved him as I would my own brother. He was my brother in a way. We walked over to Soda slowly. I sat down beside him. Steve sat on the other side. "I know about Ponyboy and Johnny." I said, after a couple of seconds. "I know about what they did. And I know that the police dragged Dally in and he told them they were headed for Texas and they weren't coming back." His shoulders slumped a little more. I put my hand on his shoulder, lightly. He shrugged it off. I pulled it back like I had been burned when he shrugged it off his shoulder.  
"You know a lot, don't you?" he said angrily.  
"Yeah, I do." I said, getting a little angry myself. "I also know Dally would never tell cops the truth about ANYTHING, especially Johnny." "I'm still probably never gonna see him again." he said bitterly  
"Oh, Soda. Of course you will! He'll come back." said Steve firmly.  
"If he knows what's good for him though, he'll stay away from Socs."I said.  
"Yeah, you'd know all about that wouldn't you? You've been on their side before Belle. What about now, huh?" said Soda bitterly.  
"Stop it! That was different and you know it! And you also know that more than 95% of the time I'm on you're side. That was one or maybe two fucking times Soda! And those situations were completly different. You should know better than to assume that I'd side with the man that put my boyfriend in a coma. We may not be together now, but we were then and you especially should know what my temper can get like. I'm on you're side and you know it! You're searching for reasons to hate me and you know you can't find them. I am NOT a Soc!" I ranted angrily, emphasizing the last statement with all the force I had. And right then it was a lot.  
"I know you're not, but sometimes you can act like one hell of a Soc. And you're not a Greaser either so stop pretending you know what it's like!"Soda yelled at me. "Belle, you can't go back and forth forever. Find out who you are and stop trying to act like something you're not."he said. Then he got up and started walking away.  
"Soda! Wait! I thought you, of all people, would understand! Stop!" I yelled after him. But it was no use. He just kept walking. I got up. I stared after him angrily. Of all the people in the world, I thought he'd understand. I really didn't KNOW where I belonged. I didn't KNOW who or what I was. I didn't know how to find out. "Fine, be that way!" I shouted angrily after him throught angry tears, instantly wishing I could take the words back. But Soda had made me realize something that I had only truly realized a few times before, and even then only in short moments of pure truth. I DIDN'T know who I was. I was living lie after lie trying to be things I just wasn't. I didn't know where I belonged. I didn't belong anywhere. And I felt such and emptiness at knowing it. I really didn't have anyone or anything or anywhere. I was alone. No matter how many people surrounded me, I was still all alone. All alone in my own unknowing. and I realized something else. I would never know who or what I was or where I was supposed to be until I faced my fears and stopped shoving all my feelings and real qualities deep inside where I would never have to face them.  
I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt a light touch on my shoulder. I looked up. It was Steve. He was looking at me with a really worried and concerned expression on his face. I suddenly realized I was on the ground again with my back to the fountain. I must have slid down in my thoughts of hopelessness. I was taking my breath in deep gasps and my tears wouldn't stop flowing no matter how many times I brushed them away. Me, miss tough girl who never cried couldn't stop now.   
"Belle? Are you ok?" Steve asked softly.  
"No, Steve, I don't think I am ok this time. I....." I hesitated, wondering if I could trust him.  
"What is it Belle?" He slid to the ground next to me. I decided to let my guard down. He was like my brother after all. I tried to quit crying. I couldn't. Finally, at last, they seemed to dry up and I could finally talk.  
"I've loved Soda for soo long. SO long. And I know that we flirt,but I know that Soda doesn't love me back. At least, I thought he didn't. I watched him ask a girl to fucking marry him. A girl I knew for a FACT had cheated on him and still was. I watched him finally lose control. I stood up to him when no one else dared to. I loved him even those very, very few times he was a jerk. I've loved him for who he is, not what everyone wanted him to be and not only for what he looks like. And I finally, after all that time, found out he loved me back. I finally got to kiss him. I was in heaven. I heard a fucking orchestra, Steve." I laughed a little, somewhat bitterly. "And now... he won't even listen to me so I can make him understand." I sniffed. " I love him so much. And have for so long, that I don't think I can stand to have my heart broken by him. and right now it's definitly breaking."  
"Belle, I knew that you liked him, but I didn't know you really did love him. I just thought you were trying to get him while he was vulnerable."  
"God Steve! I could never do that to Soda." I got up. "C'mon, we gotta go back to work. Those bimbos out front are only gonna last so long without more gum replacements to snap at each other." Steve laughed. I finally smiled, pleased that I could still keep my sense of humour. "Besides, he'll have to come back sooner or later." Steve also stood.  
"I guess you're right." he said. We walked quickly back to the DX. Soda wasn't there. I sighed. Steve smiled at me, reassuringly and sympathetically. " He has to come back sooner or later." he promised me. I smiled back at him slightly, willing myself to at least half believe those words. Steve went back into the garage and I went behind the counter again. Since the store was no longer closed, the bimbos came in every once in a while to restock themselves with gum and sodas. I finished my homework. Three hours and Soda still hadn't come back. I was starting to get worried. And then I started to get a tiny bit mad. Why the fuck couldn't he just understand, or at least be man enough to come back and face me.  
Soda didn't show up all day. I went home, driving a little under the speed limit and not about 30-50 miles over it for the first time in my life. At that moment, I had temporarily cooled off. I started to reason with myself, logic slowly returning to my mind somewhat. 'Let him get used to this. A lot just happened in a really short amount of time. Just give him some time." I tried to reason with myself. It was useless, I knew. I never really believed me when I told me things like that. But I tried anyway. When I got home, my mom was there. I really didn't feel like her nagging just then. All she ever goes on about is getting out damn house clean. I really could car eless what it looked like. I had other things on my mind. Soda, for instance. 


	7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven  
However, as I walked in the door, I saw that my mother was there in the living room already. Damn!!  
"Hey baby" my mom said before I could sneak to the stairs for my room. 'Great. Now there's no getting out of this.' I thought.  
"Hey ma." I said weakly. My eyes were still red from crying and I was utterly exhausted from what had happened today. So much had happened. I walked over to the couch and collapsed onto the soft cushoning. I had no idea what I was going to do. I couldn't even think straight. Maybe Ma would know what to do.Even if she was a total pain the ass, she had too have been a teenager herself once too right? No matter how long ago it had been. If I got too pissed or annoyed I could always leave for my room right? Right. I couldn't even think about tomorrow without having any idea at all at what could happen. I needed reassurance. I needed an idea in my head that it could turn out all right. The only things I could think of were too painful to really think about. Some of the outcomes that came into my head were so painful. Too painful to think about. Especially about Soda. Soda had put so much pain in my heart. I didn't even know I could feel that much pain. And I don't know how or why but it was more than emotional too. I had a physical aching inside me. I felt it in my stomach, my head, my heart. My whole being. He had literally broken my heart. Almost totally. The only thing left was a tiny tiny tiny bit of that false hope that everyone gets for the first days or weeks that they get their heart broken. My logic managed to push even most of that aside. 'Time' I repeated to myself in my head. I still didn't believe me. My mom looked at me suddenly. My hair was a mess, I was breathing kinda hard, and my eyes were red. I looked like shit. I knew it too. I didn't care at all.   
"What happened?!" my mom asked, slightly alarmed.  
"Oh ma. He did it. I thought he was the only person who wouldn't, but he was the first who did." Tears started to flow again. God, I HATED it when I cried. Now my ma was even more worried, although probably tired of what she thought were antics. This time though, I really wasn't over-reacting or over-acting. She probably wouldn't have believed me if I had told her that.   
"Belle, what are you talking about? Who did what to you?" she asked.  
"Sodapop, Mamma."  
"Sodapop?" she looked like she was trying to remember who he was. "Sodapop Curtis?"  
"Yeah Mamma."  
"What did he do Belle?"  
"He.. he...he..." I couldn't even say it. I just sobbed.I brought my knees up on the couch and sobbed into them. I couldn't talk, I could hardly breathe. She started to rub circles on my back, but I shrugged her off. I didn't want her comfort like that, right then. It just didn't feel right. And I knew that crying out "He broke my heart!" would sound corny.  
"He hurt me Mamma. Really bad." I was finally able to gasp out.  
"Hurt you? As in, physically?!" My mom's voice grew louder.  
"No! No mamma! He could never do that to me. I know he couldn't!" I said quickly and stubbornly.  
"Then how?"  
"Here, Mamma." I pressed my hand to my heart.  
"Oh! It'll be alright Belle, it'll pass."  
"No, it won't! I loved him Momma! I STILL love him! It won't be ok."  
"Don't be ridiculus Belle. You're too young to fall in love."  
Her words stung me. I looked at her. I finally understood something. To my mom, I would always be 3 years old. She'd never, ever let me grow up. I was mature far beyond my 14 years. Everyone thought I was 16 or 17. Only a couple people knew how old I really was. I don't even think my dad remembered. That's how I got my car for my 14th birthday. I told him I was turning 16. I couldn't talk to my mom about stuff like this yet. She wasn't ready. I wasn't totally angry. I mean, I was a little, but I think that I understood her a little bit more than before. I just accepted the fact. I got up off the couch. "Yeah, maybe your right ma. Maybe I wasn't in love." I wanted desperatly to tell that she was wrong, that I was desperatly in love with Soda. I knew I was. It was an undisputed fact. But that would just start another yelling match between us, it happened often, and I just didn't need that right now. I stumbled slowly to my room. I flopped on my bed. I layed there for an hour or so. Finally, I feel into a soft and thankfully un dreaming sleep. I woke up suddenly about an hour later. I looked at the clock. 8 o'clock. I yawned, stretched, and sat up. I looked in the mirror and saw how terrible I looked. "Ughh." I said. I was going to go out tonight. I was gonna call Lem and we were going to go to the drive-in. Sneak in, have a little fun. But first, I had to get cleaned up. I went in the bathroom and washed all the makeup off my face. Then I went into my room to raid my wardrobe. I was totally Greaser tonight. At least in dress. I looked at my selection. Quite impressive actually. I knew what I was looking for. I wanted to look good. Sexy. Bad girl sexy. I chose a short Catholic uniform plaid skirt, knee-high boots, and a small black t-shirt. Not too small, but small enough. I wasn't skinny. But I wasn't fat either. I had a few stretch marks, in visibly unknown places, but I looked good. And I knew it. I put on my ensemble, brushed and pulled my hair into a high pony tail, and outlined my eyes with a smoky black and filled the lids in with a dark midnight blue before applying a dark lipstick. I looked in the mirror, satisfied with my selection. I called Lem.  
"Hey Lem?" I said after she picked up the phone.  
"Yeah?"  
"You wanna go to a movie?"   
"Yeah sure. Let me get ready. Come over."  
"Ok. And Lem?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thanks." I hung up the phone, stood up, grabbed my small black purse, looked in the mirror one more time, smiled and headed out the door. My mom had fallen asleep on the couch. I sighed in relief. Less explanations. My thoughts weren't going to be rational tonight and I knew it. I needed as much help as I could get, and from someone who understood. Lem would understand. I got in my car, went to Lem's house, parked and rang the bell. Her mom answered the door. "Hi Belle. Here for Lem?"   
"Yeah. We're gonna go to the movies if that's ok?"  
"Sure it is Belle. She's in her room, go on up."  
"Thanks." Lem's mom was alright. I went passed her and up to Lem's room. She was going through her closet. When I closed the door to her room her head peeked out from behind the door and she smiled.  
"Well, well, well. Feeling rather bad-ass tonight, are we Belle?" she asked teasingly.  
"How could you tell?" I answered sarcastically. We laughed. It felt good to laugh. She came out of her closet. She had on black capris, a red t-shirt, heeled sandals, and sunglasses for a headband. Everything was tightly fitting to her. She was Grease. I smiled.  
"Just what I was thinking." I said, approving of her outfit.   
"I thought you might."she said. "Considering the circumstances with Soda."   
"Don't!" I said. "Don't even say his name." My heart had begun to sting again. All I wanted was for it to either go numb or get what it wanted. Getting numb seemed more likely. Lem looked at me really worriedly. She walked over swiftly and stood in front of me. "What happened Belle?" she asked softly staring at my face. Then she took a good look at me outfit and then stared hard into my face again. "Why do you feel like this?" She used her hand to point to my outfit. "What made this happen? Not that I don't like it, but why Belle? Why?" At first I didn't want to tell her. But then, when I looked at her, I couldn't stop myself. I told her everything that had happened since she left. From our kiss to my mother. I cried a little, but I must have been dried out. I didn't have anything left to cry with. She listened patiently, making all the right sounds and faces. I finally had found a best friend. Maybe she did understand. I knew that she did. She was in the same position I was. When I was finished, she told me how sorry she was, that it would all turn out all right in the end. I smiled at her gratefully. "He's just being an idiot Belle. He'll come around, you wait and see. Or scheme and see, which ever." She wiggled her eyebrows mischieviously. We laughed. I had a habit of scheming to get what I want if I get too impatient. It works too.  
"C'mon. Let's go sneak into a movie." I said, feeling slightly better.  
"Let's go." We linked arms, walked down the stairs, got in my car and srove off. We played the radio and screamed every song we knew. Tonight really was gonna be a blast. We had to drive passed the Curtis's to get to the drive in from my house. When we did, one of my favorite songs was on and I was singing at the top of my lungs. I didn't car who heard. The top was down, everyone probably did. I still didn't care. We got to the drive in and parked a block away. I put up the top, turned off the engine and we both got out of the car. I fixed my skirt, it barely covered my ass when I sat down, hardly when I stood up. I liked it that way. I went around to Lem's side, the street, and we crossed. We walked to the fence of the drive-in. A couple years ago, a Greaser had taken a knife and sliced the fence. Dally had as a matter of fact. I had stood watch. It was a great investment for me. I wouldn't have to pay anymore. We bent over, and went through the hole. It was dark, besides, no one would've told even if they had seen us. We walked to where they put the chairs for people who didn't have cars. We sat down in the first row. The movie was Rebel Without A Cause. They weren't real big on recent movies around here. I didn't care. It was a good movie. I'd seen it before. About five minutes after we had sat down, I felt a breath on my neck. It tickled. I looked behind me. No one was there. I felt it again. I ignored it. I felt it again. I suddenly swerved around and caught Dally leaning over, blowing on me.   
"Dally! What the hell are you doing?" I said, a big smile on my face. I maneuvered myself so I was stradling the chair and threw my arms around his neck, and pulled him into a hug. He hugged me back, tightly.   
"Dally." I said, slight mocking warning in my voice. I knew what he was up to. My breasts were right up against his chest. It wasn't a mistake. He made sure that they were. I didn't mind. We always did stuff like this. Not real serious, just messing around. I rather enjoyed it. It was fun. We let go. He had a grin on his face.  
"Yeah, yeah. You just wipe that smile right off your face Dally Winston!" I said, my tone light. He didn't, like I knew he wouldn't.  
He stood up, came around and sat next to me. I swung my leg around and sat myself straight. I was wearing black panties and I think by the time I was done positioning he knew it too. I blushed only slightly.   
"Nice ensemble Belle." he said "Did you shop at Grease'R Us?"  
"Ha ha ha. As a matter of fact, it was Greasers Unlimited for your info. You can do everything except check the tag on that." I said smartly. His mouth curled into a smile. He loved when I talked dirty. I did most of the time. It suited me.  
"Well, wherever the hell you got it, I like it."  
"I thought you might." I said. Lem wasn't talking. She loves James Dean. Didn't take her eyes off the screen. Probably a good thing too. She doesn't like Dallas much at all. Soda liked him. Soda liked everyone. I was staring out, right over Dally's shoulder, my eyes starting to glisten slightly at just the thought of Soda. Dally must've noticed. Dally's a total bad-ass and under normal circumstances wouldn't even be seen doing anything remotly kind or considerate. But there was something you have to understand about Dallas Winston and me. I NEVER cried around him. I didn't wanna feel baby-ish I didn't want him to think I was and other than that, he always kept me laughing. He'd never even seen or heard me even whimper. I just didn't do it. Almost at all. But NEVER,EVER around him. Anyway, like I was saying, he must've seen because before I knew it, he had grabbed me by the arm and was almost literally dragging me across the lot dodging into shadows so we wouldn't be seen. I was finally snapped out of my reverie. His hand was almost hurting my arm. "Dally, what the hell are you doing?!" I asked, a tad of anger in my voice. I didn't want him to bruise my arm, and Dally was stronger than I was if he decided to do something. But I wasn't really scared. He didn't answer me. "Dally, if Soda finds out about this...." I trailed off, the mention of Soda's name, especially in my own voice sent me back into my own world, to re-live again and again the events of today, lingering on the kisses and best parts and killing myself over what I could've done to prevent the latest developments. My eyes glazed over again and I became only dimly aware of Dally still pulling me across the lot, then to the side of a building resting im half shadows. He let go of my arm but I didn't notice. All I could see and hear was Soda. "Belle!" I didn't hear. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. Hard. "Belle!" he shouted at me. I was jerked away from my tormenting thoughts finally. I looked at him. I don't think I've ever seen Dally so scared. "Dally?" I asked, wondering where the hell I was. I looked at his face again. "Dally? What's the matter? Why do you look like that?" I was really worried. I didn't know that I had a tear trickling down one side of my face, making a clear line in my finishing powder. He reached up a hand and smoothed away the tear making its way down my face. I looked up at him. "Dally? What's wrong?" I asked again. He was still staring at me with fear and wonder on his face. "Belle, what happened to you? You're the toughest damn broad in this whole damn town. I've seen every single girl here cry at least a dozen times. I've known you for years and not once, not ONCE have you even looked like you were about to. What the hell happened to you? Who did this to you? And why are you crying? I hate to say this and if you ever tell anyone, I'll absolutly kill you, but, I'm worried about you. I care, Belle." I looked at him, shocked. I knew he did, but never in a million years did I think he'd ever admit. I moved closer to him, only a few inches away. I looked up at him. "You really do don't you?" I asked. He nodded slightly.   
"Yeah, I really do. Don't go spreadin' it around all right?" he said in that tough way of his. I threw my arms around him, and squeezed him tight. He stiffened a little, I could almost feel him blink, but he put his arms around me non-the-less and hugged me back. Eventually he relaxed and after a few moments of burying my face against his chest, and thinking how good it felt to hear that from someone, anyone, especially him, I gently pulled back and eventually let go. I sniffed. His t-shirt was slightly moist as I had cried a tiny bit while in our hug. I think it was the first time a girl had ever cried ON him before. He looked at me, I could still feel the surprise that came off him. "Thank you, Dally." I said quietly.   
"What happened to you Belle?" he asked.  
"A boy happened to me Dally. A boy." I said softly, but clearly, looking up at his face.  
"What boy Belle? What did this boy do to you?"   
"He broke my heart Dally." my face scrunched slightly and I could feel soft tears floating down my face. I wiped them away impatiently. I still hated to cry in front of him. "He broke my heart, and it hurts worse than anything I've ever felt before in my life." I looked down at the ground, unable to see his reaction in case he thought it was all just silly girly stuff. I looked up at him again, hesitantly. Apparently, he didn't think it was. His face had fury written all over it. It scared me a little.   
"Who, Belle?" he said, his voice shaking with anger. I almost didn't tell him. I almost couldn't. But then, I had to. I don't know what it was, but from that moment I knew Dally would protect me against ANYTHING no matter what. I felt safe around him. I was scared for Soda, scared for what Dally might do to him. I knew that look in Dally's eyes, I'd seen before rumbles and before someone landed in the hospital. They were there because he had put them there. But I also knew, somehow, that I had to tell him. I don't know why. But I had to. So, I took a deep breath. And I did. "It was Sodapop Dally." I said softly. "It was Soda" I whispered. He looked like I had just taken a sledge hammer and hit him in the groin with it. His eyes were so wide I thought they were in danger of popping out of his head. "Soda?" he asked, afraid to believe it. I nodded my head yes. "Soda, Dally. It was Soda." I took a breath. "God, it hurts Dally. I can't even think about him, I just start hurting all over. I mean, I know it's just a saying, but it really hurts. It's not like sick hurt, but it hurts so bad. I can't think about him or it starts and I can't do anything But think about him. At first, my heart kinda just went numb. Like, I couldn't feel anything at all. But then it must've thawed out or something because as soon as I heard his name or saw his face in my head, it started again. It hasn't stopped and everytime I hear his name or see his face in my head, it gets even worse." He reached out and pulled me into a hug. He fiercly and protectivly locked his arms around me tightly. I hugged him back. I was pressed tight against him, but this time he wasn't trying to be dirty, he wasn't joking around. I don't know what it was. But he felt something for me. Really strongly. I squeezed him tightly, relishing in the protection that he provided. "I'm gonna kill him. I swear to God I'll kill him Belle." he said fiercly. And I believed him too. He said it with such emotion and conviction, I believed him too. If Dally said he was gonna kill him, he was gonna kill him. And no matter how much Soda had hurt me, no matter how mad I was at him for acting like that and breaking me, I couldn't let Dally kill him. I stepped back slightly so I could look up in his face. He didn't release his grip and only tightened it more. And I don't know if you know this yet, but Dally can be strong as HELL if he wanted to. Stronger than anyone I know. He may not look it, but he had more muscle and more spirit in him than anyone you could ever know. Which is why I believed him and he also had something about him. He had....presence. Powerful presence. I gave up trying to back up. He wouldn't let me go. Not that I ws complaining. I could see his face any how. I looked up at him. "No Dally! You can't kill him. Much as he hurt me, I still love him. And if you kill him, I think it'll only make it worse. I need to believe that one day he'll fall in love with me again, or if hasn't in the first place or if he hasn't fallen out of it, that he'll at least come to his senses. He's gonna need help getting there. I know that. But, you have to help me Dally." I was getting desperate again. I needed Dally's help. I knew he would give it to me. I had to ask. I had to plead. He was the only one who would listen. I clutched at him. "I love him Dally. I can't help myself."  
"I know you do Belle. I know what it's like to be in love." he admitted roughly.  
"You do?" I asked curiously. He never even hinted at this before.  
"Yeah, I do." he said quietly and kissed the top of my head. A thought registered in my head. 'It's me. He loves me. Oh no.' I mean, I loved Dally. Loved him with all my heart, but I wasn't IN love with him. I didn't love him the same way he loved me. I could've at some point. In fact, I had. But what I felt for Soda so surpassed that. I loved Dally as my confidant. I can't really explain it. It's more than that. I could turn to him for anything. I wasn't scared of him, I knew somehow, before that night, I had always known, that he could never hurt me. I could calm him down. He could get my temper riled up when I needed it. He made me laugh. I was one of the few people that could make him laugh. We understood each other. It was more than that too. I really can't explain it. But no matter what I did, I couldn't tell him outloud that I didn't love him like that. It would hurt him to much if I actually said it. I knew it would. And I couldn't hurt him.  
"Oh, Dally." I whispered.  
"Don't." he said roughly, acting like his usual self. I nodded. We understood. But I knew that he still wouldn't leave me. I wiggled a little against him. He took the hint and finally dropped his arms. I stepped back. He looked me over from head to toe. I sucked in my stomach as he looked.   
"You really shouldn't wear stuff like that Belle. You might just get a guy all hard up." he said it without embarrasement. He didn't care. I smiled slyly.  
"Don't I know it."   
He laughed.   
"You still got it Belle. You still got it."  
"You better believe it baby."  
We laughed.  
"C'mon. We better get back. Lem'll think you went ahead and kidnapped me or something."  
"Yeah, sure. You wish."  
"Oh, do I?"  
He laughed again. I took out my mirror, the one that I always carried with me.  
"Jesus! I look like shit. Remind me not to do that crying thing again. I think it's bad for my complexion." He laughed. I fixed my face. When I looked up, Dally was tapping his foot on the ground, pretending to be impatient.  
"Are you done yet?"  
"I don't know. Maybe I'll take another hour." I shot back. He growled and slung his arm around my shoulders. He started walking, and I caught up with him. We walked back slowly, side by side. I put my arm around his waist. He walked with that, bad-ass coming-don't-mess-with-me-or-die, walk that he had. I laughed.  
"What's so funny?" he asked.  
"Oh,nothing." I said, smiling before starting to giggle.   
"Arggh." he growled before taking his other hand and tickling me on my belly. I squeled and stepped away. He followed me. We were right at the slice in the fence that Dally had made. I glanced towards it. Suddenly I stopped. Just straight out stopped moving. Dally plowed into me.  
"Whoa!" he said. "What's with you?"  
"Look!" I said. And pointed to a figure suddenly running from the fence. "It's Soda Dally! We have to go! C'mon." I started to run but my boots were slowing me down. Dally could run faster than me. "Go!" said to him. "Catch up with him! Stop him!" Dally took off, speeding out of sight after the quickly dissapearing figure. I ran to Lem. I pulled her hand.  
"C'mon." I said. "We have to go."  
"Why?" she said grumpily, I had interrupted James Dean. I groaned. No time to explain.  
"It's Soda. C'mon." I pulled at her again. This time she got up and I started running. We ran through the fence and down the street. I didn't even think of my car. I could only think of getting to Dally and Soda. 


	8. Chapter Eight

We ran down the street, around the corner. I tried to clear my head. Then I remembered the park again. He went there once right? It was worth a try. I beckoned to Lem.  
"C'mon. The park!" I said. She nodded and we swerved towards the park. We ran and ran and ran. Finally, we reached the park. A second time I leaned on my knees, breathing hard. A second time I straightened up. A second time I looked around. A second time... he was there. This time, though, he and Dally were yelling at each other something fierce. We looked at each other. 'uh oh.' we said through our eyes. It was not a good idea to match Soda's and Dally's tempers. We ran over.  
"You idiot! What the hell were you thinking?" Dally was yelling to Soda. They didn't even notice us there.  
"Don't give me that. What the hell were you doing with her at the drive-in?"  
"What should it matter to you? I thought if you loved her at all you wouldn't have BROKEN HER HEART! Asshole!"  
"What the fuck are you talking about Dallas? I did no such fucking thing. Speaking of fucking, how was she?" Soda had gone too far. Before I knew what was happening, Dally punched him.  
"Shut the fuck up Sodapop Curtis!" he yelled at him as Soda got up. Soda looked him in the eye. I was afraid to go near them. I wasn't gonna be stupid and get the shit beat outta me by getting in the middle of this thing. "You don't know what you're talking about. How stupid can you be? She's been there the whole time! She loved YOU the whole fucking time! And you were too STUPID to see it." he yelled at Soda. Soda socked him on the jaw. Now I had had enough.  
"Stop it!" I screamed. They both turned their heads to look at me at the exact same time.  
"Both of you, knock it off!" I yelled. I stepped in between them. I looked at Soda. I was hurting, I was riled up, and I was angry. I slapped him. Right across the face. Hard. He looked stunned. He just looked at me with a stunned look on his face. He put his hand to his cheek. There was gonna be a bruise where my clauda ring had hit him. Good. He deserved it. I was breathing hard, my chest heaving. I turned and looked at Dally. He too looked stunned. I turned to Lem. She looked stunned too, although there was a slightly smug smile on her face. I nodded my head once at her, like something had been done that I approved of. She did it back. Soda had deserved it. We both knew it. Finally after that, I spoke.  
"Both of you just stop it. Soda, you're going to listen to me for once. You're not gonna talk, you're gonna listen, and you're gonna try to understand. Got it?" I said fiercly, determination and stubborness evident in my tone. My eyes alone told him not to mess with me. His hand hadn't left his face. He just nodded dumbly, still staring at me.   
"Dally? Thank you. Thank you so much." I smiled at him. He nodded at me. "And you're going to stay too. You're going to talk to Lem, or rather, she's gonna calm you down..." I gave Lem a pointed look. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. I gave her a look that said 'just do it.' Dally was still pissed, his eyes were stormy and he was breathing kinda hard. "Dally, go easy on her. Any shit from either of you, and I come and beat both your asses." I smiled sweetly and smartly. "Got it?" They both nodded, although obviously not thrilled.   
"Good. Now, everyone sit down. On the grass, Lem." I said when she started to protest. She shut her mouth, sighed, and flopped down on the grass. Next down went Soda, still holding his face and staring. I sighed. I'd have to snap him out of it. . Dally hadn't sat down yet. He was just looking at me, like 'don't tell me what to do'. I glared at him. He scowled. I ignored it and kept glaring. Dally doesn't like being told what to do. Finally he sat down, leaning back on his hands and stretching out his legs like it was his idea to sit down all along. I smiled slightly at him and shook my head. He pretended not to notice, staring at the sky. I carefully sat down, holding my skirt so that no one could see up it. It was dark, but I adjusted to the night easily and could see just fine. Then there were the lights from farther in the park. When I had finally got myself right,closing my legs and tucking them to the side, leaning on one of my hands, I looked at Soda. His eyes had followed me down to the ground. His hand was still on his face. I gently took his hand and brought it down. I almost kissed it, but I was still a little mad, although much cooled after the slap. It had felt pretty good to do that.  
"Soda." I said softly. "Soda!" I said a little louder when he didn't answer. I did what Dally had done to me. I shook him gently. That didn't work. Finally, out of ideas, except to slap him again, which proabably wasn't a good idea, I leaned forward and kissed him gently, feeling the electricity running through me again, hoping that he was feeling the same and it would snap him out of it. I guess I was right and I guess he did feel it because right after I pulled away, he had come back to me. "Soda, it almost kills me to say this, but, listen to Dally!" He started to protest. I put a finger to his lips and shushed him. "No. Listen to him. He knows what he's talking about it. I told him. He knows. Listen." He looked at me with wonder.  
"Do you really love me Belle? Don't mess with me right now. Tell me the truth."  
I laughed lightly. "Yes, Soda. I do love you. With all my heart." I thought he was going to smile and kiss me, but I should've known it wouldn't be that easy. Suddenly he was angry again.  
"Then what the hell were you doing with Dally at the drive-in huh?"  
"I wasn't doing anything Soda. I was upset. I AM upset. You broke my heart Sodapop Curtis and it hurts like hell. Worse than anything you've ever felt." I said with anger of my own. "He understands. He listened. He helped. You hurt me." I said with conviction.  
Lem suddenly broke in. "Soda, I've been Belle's friend, her BEST friend, all her life. I've seen her upset and angry before. But I never saw her like that. Then she came to my house and actually started crying. She never cries in front of people. You're an asshole, and you know it." Then she turned her attention to Dally. She poked him in the ribs and glared. He sighed, scowled, then looked at me and softened.   
"You are such a fucking idiot asshole Soda. Do you wanna know what happened at the drive-in? Do you?" He nodded,unable to say anything. He had never had this many people hate him like this before. 'good' I thought with some satisfaction. Dally went on, still pissed as hell. "Fine, I'll tell you. She and Lem came sneaking in through the fence. I knew that something had happened to Belle because of the way she dressed. If that's not 100% Greaser, I don't know what is. You know she dresses the way she feels." Dally's hand swept over my outfit to emphasize and Soda nodded. "So something had happened. When she and Lem sat down, I went over to 'em. When Belle figured out it was me messing with her, she actually threw her arms around me." I winced a little, and glanced at Soda who I could tell was getting jealous, much to my satisfaction. "Belle doesn't do stuff like that unless something's wrong. When something's wrong she really needs a LOT of attention." I nodded, amazed at how much Dally really knew about me. He was making my job a whole lot easier. "After a couple minutes I noticed that Belle's eyes had glazed over kinda and that she was looking at something right over my shoulder. Something no one else could see. When I looked closer I noticed that she was gonna start crying. CRYING, Soda, FUCKING CRYING!. She doesn't do tht. Especially in front of me, not to mention anyone." Soda's eyes grew wide, he knew about me and crying in front of people, Dally especially. "So I dragged her across the parking lot, where we could talk privately. Half way across she seemed to snap out of it. After demanding where we were going she said something about,'if Soda ever found out about this....' I was gonna ask her what the hell she was talking about, but her eyes had glazed and were starting to glisten again. When we finally got to the building, alone, it took me three minutes and a ton of shakes to get her out of her...trance or whatever. When I finally did get her out of it, she started to fucking CRY Soda." Soda looked at me like he didn't believe it. I nodded confirmation. "After some wheedling, I finally got out of her what you did to her. She saved your FUCKING LIFE. I was ready to go out and KILL you. However, after a little while she seemed to calm down and we started to walk back. We were just messing around when you showed up at the fence and all this shit started.Soda, you almost died today. You can thank Belle for your life. And don't get hung up on that tramp Sandy. She was a bitch and a double-crossing, cheating bitch at that. Forget her. Be thankful for what you do have. Or, will have if you don't fuck up again." Dally finished, finally falling silent. I sent him a silent thank and he looked at me, getting his rough edge back after telling what was probably the hardest story he'd ever had to tell anyone. Soda looked like someone had hit him over the head with a frying pan. If he was seeing stars, I wouldn't blame him. I was in shock after Dally's rant too. I don't think he's ever said anything with much emotion before. Unless it was rage, Dally was usually emotion-less. Something terrible had happened in New York. That's why he came here. Whatever it was it messed him up bad and his philosophy was, Don't Feel Anything And You Don't Get Hurt. I guess for him it worked really well, although if you asked me, it made it worse. Now it was my turn to rant. I wanted to and I was going to. And Soda was gonna listen. I chuckled softly to myself. If he had gotten up, he would've fallen right down again, he was in so much shock! "Now, Soda, it's my turn. And it's not pretty what I have to say either. Now, you hurt me. Bad. But I'm not gonna come crying to you Sodapop Curtis if you're the one who caused the pain. I may not be a Greaser, and I sure as HELL am not a Soc. But,I'm more Greaser than anything and you know it. We all know it. How many times have I been on your side? How many times have I nursed you, and everyone else, back to health? Half of you would be DEAD if it wasn't for me. Remember that time that Soc jumped you? You had two broken ribs and he cracked your skull. You came to me. You trusted me. And I fixed you up. All of you. Pony, Johnny, Dally, Two-Bit, Darry, You, Steve, everyone. I may not be a Greaser by birth, not un-fortunatly, but I am one in spirit. Ask ANYONE. Hell, ask Dally. How many times have I calmed him down from killing anyone? Or you? Countless, countless. I went against my best friend for you. That killed me. And you should have known better about Josh. In love with you or not, I had to keep going with my life. When Tim jumped him, for no DAMN REASON, of course I was gonna be on his side. It wasn't like you were knocking down my door to convince me to join you. We didn't even TALK for two weeks. TWO WEEKS. That killed me." I took a deep breath. I stopped a second, wondering how I should keep going. "And you were right. I don't completely know what it's like to be a Greaser. But, all of you have come to me with your problems. You've all complained about it enough." I hesitated, figuring out if I should say what I wanted to. A secret I had never told anyone. I had taken care of it, but I still hadn't told. "And it's happened to me too." I said softly. Lem and Dally looked at me, along with Soda, all of a sudden, wondering what the hell I was talking about. I stared out into the night sky, re-living that one day, about three months ago, when I had been walking the long way to the drive-in. My car was in the shop. I was dressed as a Greaser, as I usually am after I go to work. I decided to tell all of them what had happened. "Yeah, it happened to me. You know when I missed work for about a week a couple months ago?" They all nodded. "I told you that I just had chicken pox. That wasn't true. The day before I had been walking the long way to the drive-in after work. I was dressed kinda like I am now, pants, but definitly Grease. Anyway, I must've passed for one pretty good because as I was crossing the field I heard something. I turned and saw one of those new red hotrods coming towards me. I started to get a little nervous. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't. I walked a little faster. The car came up next to me. The window rolled down and there were these two Socs in the car. I kept walking. They started talking to me, well, I don't know if talking's the right word. They were....acting really nasty. Asking me all kinds of stuff that was none of their fucking business. When I gave them the finger and told them to fuck off, I guess they got mad because suddenly, they Soc turned his car and cut me off. I got scared, and I don't do that easily. I looked down, realized what I was wearing, and started to run. They got out of the car and chased me. I got to a dead end and they kinda pounced on me. One of them, the driver, picked me up and started carrying me off. I screamed and yelled and hit and kicked, but he wouldn't let go. When we got to that field where you play football, the big one, he took me to the side of that building. It was dark back there, and nobody could see. Or at least they ignored me. Anyway, when we got there, the driver told the other Soc to go and be look out. When he left, the guy punched me. I punched him back, but I guess he didn't like that because he was on top of me, holding my arms down. I started kicking him. I hadn't stopped screaming. He sat on my legs and he....." I gulped "he.... He ripped all my clothes off. After he did that he........" I looked at the ground. Saying this was harder than I thought it would be. I had never told anyone about this, not even Lem or my mom. I don't know why. "He raped me." I whispered. The full meaning of the word hit me like I was finally realizing what happened to me. I had never even said it out loud before. I just tried to forget about it. I looked up, wondering how everyone was taking this. Lem was staring at me. She wasn't even blinking. Soda was looking at me,his beautiful brown eyes wide as saucers, his mouth hanging open. Dally wasn't looking at me anymore. He was busy tearing up anything in the ground he could find. He had too much rage to hide it all. Ripping up the ground was the best was to help it right now. Their horrified and furious reaction seemed to seal the deal for me. I guess that was the last straw for me on that particular subject. I brought my knees up to my face and started to cry into them. After all the crying I was doing today, it was gonna take me the rest of my life to make up for it. God, I hadn't cried this much since the day I was born. I tried to gasp out what had happened next, but I couldn't get the breath yo make out the words. Either Soda or Dally seemed to recover though, because suddenly I felt tough, muscled arms around me, pulling me. I didn't resist them. Quite the opposite. I turned into them and put my arms around the person's chest. Then I turned my head and rested my head against his chest,still crying.When I breathed in, I recognized the scent. It was Sodapop. My heart lifted, He was holding ME. He didn't hate me anymore! He loved me again! I turned my face into him. I felt his hand make circles againt my back, soothing me. He kissed the top of my head and rested his cheek against it. "Shhhh. Shhh. It's all right. It's all over now. You're safe. I'm here." he whispered to me. I squeezed him tighter. I felt completely safe in Soda's arms. With him around, no one would hurt me. Physically at least. But you can't be in love without risking your heart can you? It felt so GOOD to have his arms around me, holding me tight like I was the only girl in the entire world for him. It was possesive, comforting, soothing, enticing, all at once. And I stopped crying. My world was finally righting itself. I had Soda back, I didn't have to think about that Soc anymore and did I mention I had Soda back? I breathed him in. He smelled sooo good. I sniffed a little. I playfully whimpered and clung to him. He seemed to sense the playfullness because he smiled too. I suddenly realized that neither of us really had to say anything else anymore. It was all ok now. I understood what Soda had done and he understood what I had, or rather hadn't, done. We both knew why. We loved each other. I may be younger but I was still mature and he could wait a while. He wasn't THAT much older. Only two or three years. I didn't blurt out the rest of the story. I had, afterwards taken a pregnancy test and gotten a negative. One monster down. The next week, after I had recoperated a bit (losing your virginity by someone really rough really really hurts) I went out, got a piece of pipe, and found the guy. After I beat the shit out of him, I did send him to the hospital with three broken ribs, a fractured face, and in need of a serious testicle re-attatchment. He was scared so shitless, he never told anyone ANYTHING. I had had a serious victory party by going to the city with Dally, Soda, Lem, Steve, and Two-Bit though they always thought it was just happy to be over the pox. Until now, that is. Both monsters down. I felt Soda cross his legs. He had to let go a little and in response I clung to him even more tightly. He laughed a little, and I thought how good it was to hear something happy and light, and there's nothing happier than one of Soda's true laughs. Then I felt myself being pulled up and then be settled back down into his legs. I had closed my eyes as soon as Soda had put his arms around me that first time and buried my face in his chest, but now I opened them. My legs were drapped over the side of one of Soda's. My arms were around his chest, and his arms were holding me up, making little circles in my back while he smiled down at me. I tilted my head up and smiled back at him contentedly. He brushed the tear streaks off my face and I leaned into his hand. " I Love You Belle,"He said to me, all his emotion demanding at least capital letters. His eyes took on a slightly fearful look, as if he was scared that I wouldn't say it back, that I didn't love him anymore. I smiled up at him. I unlinked my hands from around his back, unwound one of them and raised to his Soda's face. I stroked the side of his face, his lips, his eyelids, his chin, his forehead, everything I could touch, as gently as if I was hardly touching him at all. "I love you too, Soda." I said finally. His eyes brightened and his smile widened and his head leaned down and suddenly, his lips were on mine, fire was going all through my body, I heard rushes of air go past my ears with the hint of violins and clarinets and pianos and harps, my eyes closed, I saw stars through my eyelids. Electricity rushed through my body, my heart pounded in my chest, I never wanted the kiss to end. He pulled back finally, much to my despair although the hope and wonderous knowing that it would all happen again filled me with ecstatic happiness. I whimpered, grabbed his head, and lowered his lips towards mine again, my fingers threading through his hair. His luscious curls felt like silk in my fingers. He greedily captured my mouth again. His tongue ran lightly across the insides of my lips, making me shiver. I opened my mouth and his tongue quickly slipped in, tasting me. He ran it across my teeth, tickled the roof of my tongue, then ran it across my own tongue. My tongue tangled with his before he drew back, taking me with him. He broke the kiss briefly to gulp at air, and then he press his lips to mine again. My tongue hesitantly ran across his lips. I had never truly frenched before, believe it or not. He shivered though and a slimmer of confidence ran through me. I pressed lightly against his teeth. He opened and I glided my tongue into his mouth gently. He was pantient, letting me get the feel and taste of him, letting me get the hang of it. I brushed around his teeth, ran across the roof of his mouth, let my tongue rest on his for a few moments, savoring him, before our tongues tangled together once more, lacing around each other, both of us savoring the other. I pulled back after a little bit. I needed oxygen. He reluctantly let go and the kiss ended with that wonderful little slurping sound at the end. I breathed heavily, regaining my regular breathing rate. He gulped slightly. His forehead rested against mine and my eyes opened. A second later, his opened and our eyes locked completely. Nothing else existed in the world other than us and our kisses. 


End file.
